Realistic Parent Training

I just saw this posted in a blog for communicating expectations to parents about discipling their children:

Every parent must read and study their Bible with their children every day.

Every parent must attend a corporate worship experience every week.

Every parent must join and regularly attend a home fellowship group.

Every parent must be involved in at least one meaningful Bible study each year.

Every parent must be involved in at least one mission activity each year.

Every parent must be in a meaningful discipleship group with their children every week.

Every parent must serve in the children’s ministry as scheduled.

My response? Are you kidding me? How are we ever going to reach the majority of parents to make a huge and lasting impact on the next generation? This list smacks of responsibilities for the highly motivated Christian parent already. I'm afraid lists like these and expectations like these leave regular families in the dust and empty-handed.

Comments

[Larry Shallenberger]

Thanks for your post. Bullet lists like that only discourage "average" parents or drive them to other churches.

[Henry Zonio]

I can't agree with you more!

[Robin Scobee]

I completely agree! Yes, everything on this list is good. But who has time for all that bible study, small group meetings, missions trips, and service at church when you have young kids at home??? Not me! When I'm recruiting, I make it clear that I DO NOT expect parents to "do their fair share" in our Children's Ministry. Just because you gave birth to babies doesn't mean God gifted you to work in the nursery. This list not only leaves regular families in the dust, but it riddles them with guilt for not being able to accomplish all this. Doesn't Galatians tell us we are free from this kind of bullet list?

[Shari Borders]

My gut response to this list is that it is impossible. And if I, an experienced children's minister with four kids of my own have this response, how in the world is a parent who is new to Christianity going to respond? Probably by giving up entirely and just leaving it up to "the experts"!

[Anthony Prince]

A quick google search reveals the offending party... fyi.
Not sure if you want to take a shot across their bow or not.

We just had Jim Burns (homeword.com) give a marriage conference at our church (glenkirkchurch.org) this weekend and he talked about the pressures that the church puts on families and how often we set them up to fail.
I agree w/ you - expectations like this leave out the majority of families and make them feel like failures.

[Sarah Thompson]

Wow thats completly unhelpful.
Not exactly going to motivate or empower parents!
Cast vision for parents to have for their kids and partner with them to work towards it, would be far more productive.

[Glen Woods]

Is it just me, or do most of these requirements individually call for parents to be at the church campus to fulfill them? The exceptions are home study with the kids and home groups, which means either hosting one with other people coming over, or going to one elsewhere for another night out of the week.

I think the list is well-intentioned, but it would never work in my context. Right now, I am primarily trying to engage parents in conversation through a weekly parent-coaching model which places the responsibility for content, degree of participation, and ownership on them as they respond to what God is asking them to do.

[Earl Watson]

Perhaps we should consider what God says?
• Deuteronomy 6:4-9
• Matthew 28:19-20
• Ephesians 6:4
• 2 Timothy 3:14-15
• James 3:1

Might also help to review considered church research and major task force directives?
• Great Commission Resurgence Task Force: http://www.pray4gcr.com/
• Barna: "Our national surveys have shown that while more than 4 out of 5 parents (85 percent) believe they have the primary responsibility for the moral and spiritual development of their children, more than two out of three of them abdicate that responsibility to their church." (Transforming Children Into Spiritual Champions, p. 78)
• Bill Shannon: "Suffer the Little Children" (http://www.biblebb.com/files/MAC/SC03-1028CDNotes.htm)
• Spurgeon: "Come, My Children" (http://www.biblebb.com/files/spurgeon/cyc13.htm)