Hot Topic: Today's Sex

Our "Hot Topic" (made you think) article in the Nov/Dec issue of Children's Ministry Magazine is "Beyond the Birds and Bees."

In it, our staff dug up real-life issues in actual children's ministries regarding hard-to-deal-with sexuality issues. For example, what do you do if you have a boy who really wants to be a girl and starts dressing as such? Don't believe that's a possibility? In our community, we have this very thing going on--and it's public knowledge because the boy/girl let a large newspaper do a huge article on him/her. And this person goes to a local youth group so the church team wonders which restroom the person should use; on overnight events, where does this person sleep? (I myself wonder about the deeper issue of what do you say about God their creator to a child who is seeking God and having gender identity issues?)

The easy answer is to just say these things are "sin" and discount them and the child and alienate children forever from the love and presence of God. But it's the chicken way--and the way that we so often choose because we are afraid of things we don't understand.

Another example: A family is experiencing divorce because Dad has a boyfriend. The two kids are in the children's ministry. What do you say to them? How do you minister to them? How do you separate your feelings about the dad's moral failure from the needs of the family for care and ministry?

I think the experts in the article did a superb job of helping us navigate some of these issues. But, I wonder, have others dealt with these--and more--issues surrounding "today's sexuality" and how have you dealt with them? What are some issues you're dealing with now that you could use expert help to figure out?

Comments

[Henry Zonio]

You've piqued my interest! I can't wait to read those articles. I have the mag on my office desk; I just haven't had a chance to open it up yet.

While we all too often look for an easy answer to these and other questions, those answer so often fail the very people we are trying to minister to. I will read the article and then chime in again. Thank you Chris for you and your team willing to tackle these issues and help us see that the world is so much bigger and messier than we pretend it not to be.

[Chris Yount Jones]

Thanks, Henry. We really labored over wanting to do this one right. These are tough issues.

I'll look forward to hearing what you think.
Chris

[Larry Shallenberger]

Thanks for the article. I have to confess that I have a lot of ignorance about the transgender issue. Keith posted this article from Atlantic Magazine at our blog.

http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200811/transgender-children

After reading it, I "know that I don't know." The hot topic article quoted Dr. Jim Burns about the importance of getting expert advice to the parents. I couldn't agree more.

[Chris Yount Jones]

Larry,
Dr. Jim Burns is one of the experts in our article. We're going to make this article "live" on our website. As soon as that's done, I'll post a link.

[Lisa Burney]

Yesterday, one of our teachers was extremely concerned that Hands On Bible uses the term "sexual relations" in Genesis... so I'm thinking we are not even close to being prepared to address transgender issues! Thanks for asking and addressing the hard questions so we can equip our teachers to be prepared to respond with love instead of alarm!

[Henry Zonio]

Great article... Especially the one on transgender issues. I really appreciate Jim Burns' insights on it and his reinforcement that we need to be sensitive and supportive of the parents and child... even making sure to cover how to address the child, washrooms, sleepovers, etc. For many of these issues, the last thing people need is for someone to waving their finger at them telling them what they are doing is wrong. They need love, first.

I was kind of confused on the section about a child confused about homosexuality. The section seemed to deal more with bullying issues therefore making me wonder if the author thought bullying led to a child questioning his or her sexual orientation.

Other than that, I think a great article to help the church really think through these issues instead of trying to find a "simple answer." There are no simple answers, and most of us are WAY unqualified to deal directly with these issues... Amen to Jim Burns' admonition to refer the specifics of these situations to health and social professionals.

[coloring page]

transgender issues is difficult for us as parents ...

[Unkown]

The church has always had a problem with certain realities in our world. Its time for the church to face challenges in a real and loving way instead of like you said, shunning the person, the sin, and the issue. Good for you for tackling real issues facing the youth of today.