Preteens--Always the Afterthought?

So today we're at Denver Children's Hospital for some regular check-ups. It's amazing!!!!! It's brand new, beautiful, kid-oriented, friendly, and everything you'd want in a children's hospital.

Only thing, when we tried to enter the place to hang out between appointments (with big-screen movies, pool table, computers, and more) we were told that it was only for 13 and up. (I have a preteen and a teen! And, of course, I wouldn't lie and say my 12-year-old was 13 even though he looks 13 and wanted me to, I might add.) So we left there and went to the Creative Play Area for children and found that it's only for kids up to age 8. Yikes! I asked, "So what is there for kids 9 to 12?" Nothing.

To be honest, I felt a mixture of anger, frustration, and fatigue! And I don't know what my recourse is so now I'm in the hospital library blogging about it. (Much to my daughter's embarrassed chagrin.)

So why blog about it? Other than the catharsis of complaining to someone who might care? Simply, it just makes me think that preteens are always the last to be thought of and planned for. It's true in this multi-multi-billion dollar hospital. Is it true in your church? The concierge just came and told me that they're planning to do something for preteens (lot of good that does us today). So I'm still a frustrated mom. (Many apologies to my daughter who can't believe I'd have the gall to complain in a place that is so noble and wonderful for families and children who are facing life-threatening issues.)

I'm sorry...I'm just hoping that the redemptive piece of this frustration is to challenge all of us to NOT put preteens last in your planning, programming, ministry. In the words of my preteen, it's rude!

Comments

[Jill Nelson]

Well said! We're excited to finally acknowledge our preteens well--our church is purchasing a modular unit that will be brand new and designed JUST for our 4th & 5th graders--complete with flat screen TVs, foosball table, etc. And the youth groups don't get to use it :)

[Lisa Burney]

Our new Youth Pastor told me that he really dislikes the terms Preteens or Tweeners. It describes more what they are NOT that who are are! One term tells them they aren't there yet and the other tells them they are neither children OR teens. He opened my eyes to how even what we call them excludes them.

[Chris Yount Jones]

Jill, too cool! Sounds like your church is definitely making this age group a priority.

And, Lisa, your comment really makes me think. What is an appropriate term fot kids this age?

By the way, my husband who works at Children's Hospital said it's a multi-million facility, not a multi-billion dollar facility. We're wondering if until they create something for preteens if a good solution is to allow preteens in the teen area with a parent chaperone. (I'll share that with them in their follow-up customer service call.)

[Lisa Burney]

What to call them?
We call them Club56ers.. It's taken a few months, but the 5th and 6th graders are beginning to refer to themselves as Club56ers. When people ask "What's that?" they proudly tell folks what that means. . "Christ Leading Us Beyond Fifth and Sixth Grade" -( It's not original. I borrowed it from a colleague who's team came up with the acronym.)

We are hopeful that we will be able to create their own department in the coming year and hopefully we can call that Department Club56. We will see.

[Adam]

Chris...

All too true; it's that in-between age, too old to go to kid's church, too young for High School. A couple of ideas:

Kids that turn 12, 13 are brought back to Kid's Church as leaders, running powerpoint, sound board, prayer teams, set-up, you name it. Whenever we get a new kid, we team them up with an older one, to "show them the ropes" of the church!

Also, their age, instead of pre-teen or tweener, is simply the "Jr. High" ministry. (The Sr. High is called "PowerSource", so the Jr. High is called "FUEL") They have their own service, their own room, their own logo. Identity is so important to this age, and I believe the church should do their best to create an original, individual identity for this age group!

[Chris Yount Jones]

Wow! Too cool ideas, Lisa and Adam.

I love giving kids this age an identity rather than just describing their age.

Add Grapple curriculum to the mix--and it's a definite winner!

[Larry Shallenberger]

And there is always the option of letting the 5-6 graders create their own name.

[Lisa Burney]

Yes, yes on Grapple. We are in our 7th month with Grapple at Club56 and the kids love it. The website has been gaining interest finally. The new upgrades such as choosing your own games to post AND letting the kids personalize a page was a BIG hit with our Club56ers. AND the count downs and video clips keep getting better and better... Grapple is full of memorable, clever & effective faith building tools!

[Jon]

I trully believe the Church is missing the boat when it comes to many of the Youth in general as they are the future of the Church. I speak to this myself at
http://evangelizetheyouth.com/

[Bill Love]

Chris:

I'm excited; we are putting the finishing touches for our brand new 45 Degrees room. (4th and 5th graders). The room will be complete with two 52 inch LCD's, WII, airhockey, basketball, and foosball table. But more then that, it will be an enviroment were we can begin to speak their language, letting them see and feel they are important.

It's excited to see what God is doing at Grace to reach this age group.

We work hard to build relationships with 4th and 5th graders, in many ways they are the fruit of our labor. This makes it difficult to hand them over to another ministry - but that is probably a topic for another post.

I'm thankfull that we are seeing more resources available to reach this age group. I have personally found the pre-teen launchables http://store.grouppublishing.com/OA_HTML/ibeCCtpItmDspRte.jsp?item=543966§ion=13523 extremely helpful in launching our ministry.

[Chris Yount Jones]

WOW! I love all these amazing ideas you guys are putting into place to put preteens first. You rock!

[Kate]

We have had struggles with our preteen ministry. It's not the kids fault, but parents who aren't used to change and don't trust those changes.

I am looking forward to the day when we have the full support of the leadership team as well as the parents. I guess for now we will just do our best to reach the kids and hopefully the parents will see the change in their kids.

The kids love what we do. We only meet on Wed. nights for now with Grapple. It seems that those who are participating are excited about Pier 56.

Your prayers would be much appreciated. At one time we had about 15 preteens. Due to changing the program (per parents/leadership request) we're down to about 5...10 on a good day.

[Jane]

I have 'grown' into the preteen ministry along with my Sunday School students by default! My Middlers became Juniors and are now PTers! In an effort to grow with them, I try to change the curriculum, class name and the meeting room every 2 years. We came up with the name PT Cruisers. PT stands for preteen, of course. I decorated our classroom door with "PT Cruisers for Christ" and got pictures of the car off the internet to use for the student name display. I totally redecorated the room using the Cruiser theme. I put a black, 7" wide 'road' around the room and used a white crayon to make 3" stripes. I named three of the walls Bible Basics Blvd, Lively Lesson Lane and Memory Verse Road and attached the letters to the 'road'. All the wall decorations match the name of the wall they are on. The kids cut out additional car shapes to add to the 'road'. Now we're "Cruisin' Through the Heartland" with lessons on creation that will shape our minds and heart around a belief in Intelligent Design as apposed to The Big Bang Theory. I use technology, my laptop, to bring relevent videos and articles for them to see and read so they can make an informed decision about creation. This is a huge topic in school at this age level and they need to know how to defend Intelligent Design. We also Cruise to Project Concern, a community organization that helps the poor, to volunteer our time. The kids seem to enjoy the new name and theme decorations and lessons using the laptop. I'll let you know more as I continue to develop this new venture!

[Chris Yount Jones]

Jane,
WOW! You're doing a great job at putting preteens first and considering their unique needs. Way to go!
Chris