Have It Your Way

Remember the old Burger King slogan "Have it your way"? Today, more and more products are letting children have it their way.

Case in point: Iconoculture reported on Stardoll--a virtual environment where kids dress their avatar in the game. And now, Stardoll is partnering with Spreadshirt so kids can design their own clothes and have them created in the real world. Now that's customization!

The implications for ministry? Are we providing environments where kids are actively involved in making choices, designing their faith, and finding creative ways to wear it home? We have to move away from a linear lesson plan structure that's teacher-focused and instead create a network environment for learning where kids guide the process, make discoveries, and themselves make connections to real life.

Comments

[Brenna]

A 5th grade boy told me one time that he wasn't going to church because "no one was going to tell him what to do." Sadly, that's the attitude of many people, especially the younger generations. The church must use very creative approaches to reach these people. We aren't there yet but we're learning.

[Chris Yount Jones]

We need to be careful that we don't feed that selfishness in kids even while we're trying to give them choices and empower them. Could be a fine line--it's not "all about you," it's all about Jesus. Hmmm...

[Glen Woods]

I am all for creativity. We just want to make sure that kids understand that it is apparel they are learning to design, rather than faith, itself. :) Unfortunately in the religious climate of today's culture, theological innovation seems to be the popular thing.

[Chris Yount Jones]

I agree, Glen, that truth is unchanging. But isn't the point to help kids to see how that unchanging truth "fits" them? How they wear it outside of the church? How they accessorize it with things in their personality and culture? And when to know they need a drycleaning or a mending? (Not to completely wear out the metaphor!) Would the unchanging truth look different on each child in some ways?

[Larry Shallenberger]

I'm becoming a "children's pastor of a certain age"-- I love the idea of a nonlinear, self guided curriculum. However, I'm having a hard time conceptualizing it. I'm looking forward to the days when the Millenials are driving curriculum design.

[Henry Zonio]

Customization has been a huge thing for a very long time... especially with kids. Just look at the never ending popularity of LEGOs and the whole Build-A-Bear (I saw at Mall of America a monster truck version of this!) phenomenon. Kids love to create and customize.

I think that the focus, like you said Chris, is to help kids learn how to customize unchanging truths to their context. I like how my SP puts it: we need to learn to exegete the culture around us and see how faith fits into it. That doesn't mean we change truth. We find how to best "wear" truth where we live.

One way I do this is to involve kids in helping to form parts of the lesson and application. I come with some ideas to guide children in application and such, but I open it up to the children helping. For example, we do actions for the main point. I almost always ask the kids to help customize the actions. When it comes to small groups, I encourage the small group leaders to allow children to share their ideas of how to apply what was learned and guide them.

We need to learn how to build boundaries/fenceposts... an area to discover and roam, if you will, when it comes to faith. We are good at carving out paths for children. We need to, instead, teach children and guide them in how to blaze a trail for themselves using appropriate tools and techniques. We need to teach children how to live in the jungle rather than in a national park.

[Glen Woods]

Christine,

I want to be very careful about suggesting that unchanging truth would look different for each child in some ways, simply because it would appear to be a contradiction in terms, at least in my view. It depends, I suppose, on what we mean when we say unchanging truth. If it is unchanging, then it is unaffected at all by what I do, or don't do. It is independent of my actions or cognition. For me, unchanging truth has to do with bedrock theological teaching, such as the virgin birth of Jesus, his death and bodily resurrection, the primacy of Scripture, and so on. So, maybe I am missing your point when I read your post.

I would agree that it is wise to help children and adults learn to be themselves within the culture, living the life of Christ as witnesses and being real in the process, rather than a homogeneous cookie cutter model of what a Christian should be (think LDS with two men on bicycles wearing white shirts with ties and dark pants, and carrying clipboards and the book of mormon, going door-to-door: that is predictable to the extent that you can probably remember the last time you saw it or experienced them coming to your door).

For example, being a Christian hasn't stopped me from continuing to be a laborer. I relate well with dockworkers, warehousemen, truck drivers, and a motley assortment of other kids of jaded blue collar workers because I am one of them. They "get" me. So in that sense, my faith is manifested in the clothing of my profession. I have adapted the delivery of the gospel message to the context in which God has placed me as a simple work-a-day laborer. I don't preach at them. I let my actions do the talking. Invariably, they ask of the hope that is in me. Maybe that is the sort of thing you are talking about?

So yea, I think Christians can and should be "real" within their culture but also unique. After all, we are pilgrims in this land, strangers even. So it means that all the more, we need to be missionaries learning to exegete the culture and relate to the people around us. I occasionally talk more about this on my blog if you are interested. I guess part of the reason I responded is because of people like Oprah (with her church background) who become theological syncretists and innovators, drawing millions into her spiritual fold in the process. Thanks for the interaction. I find it challenging and thoughtful!

[Chris Yount Jones]

Henry, I love how you put that: "We need to, instead, teach children and guide them in how to blaze a trail for themselves using appropriate tools and techniques. We need to teach children how to live in the jungle rather than in a national park."
I wonder if huge parts of that are teaching kids how to think and treating children's ministry like a practice session--letting them try on things in the safety of the church. For example, we want them to share Christ with their friends, but do we let them practice that? I think what you do with involving, empowering, and helping kids choose where faith intersects with their life is great!

[Chris Yount Jones]

Glen, Whoa! You've definitely thought this through. And, you're right, perhaps I'm using the wrong terminology (which I find it interesting that you and Henry mentioned "exegeting the culture." Hmmmm....)

Anyway, what are the right terms to use? I'm not talking about kids creating a customized theology; I mean (what Henry said even better, of course!) bringing the unchanging truths of God into their lives.

Help me understand terminology, because I, like you, don't want to be part of the Oprah movement of "anything is ok--you make it up."

Thanks! (Oh, and by the way, I tried to post on your blog and found it difficult. I'm such a newbie to this. Maybe you could help me figure it out!)

[Glen Woods]

Hi Christine,

I adjusted the settings on my blog to allow all users to post, as long as you enter the anti-spam code which is provided. Previously I only allowed registered users. So, hopefully it will work for you now! I would love to read your feedback on my stuff.

I also am not sure what the right terms would be to use with regard to our discussion here. I do appreciate you explaining further what you mean. I think I understand now. When I say exegeting the culture, all I mean by that is understanding the culture in which I am placed on its terms, not mine. That is to say, letting the culture speak for itself, and then, based on what I have learned, learning to communicate the gospel in ways that are relevant to the culture, that are consistent with its vocabularly both linguistically and non-verbally without compromising the core message of the gospel.

Maybe part of what we mean is to provide customized experiences which are relevant to the culture, but consistent with the gospel. At a local department store the other day I saw handheld toys which allow kids to "adopt" pets, name them, train them, call for them, and yes, even grow to love them as a result of the connection. A customized experience within certain technical boundaries, all for $14.99 or so. In the old days I was forced to befriend real dogs. I had it so hard. *grin*.

Going along with what you and Henry mentioned, I agree about practicing the faith. Much of this is naturally incumbent on parents and guardians, since they are the primary caregivers. But even in local church settings we can afford children opportunity to practice what they are learning. This is especially important for kids in non-christian homes. One way I do this is through periodic structured, and unstructured play times. My fellow volunteers and I are present with the kids, and we help them to practice principles of godly behavior, such as forgiveness, grace, trust, and so on. It gives great opportunities for me to remind them of what they had just learned in class. I agree with leading thinkers of play therapy in saying that play is the primary language of young children and toys are their words. This can give us a chance to help kids make the kinds of customizable connections to the culture we are talking about. I could say more, but I don't want to wear out my welcome :)

[Larry Shallenberger]

Glen, it might be fair to say that while truth is unchanging that each generation approaches truth (and we need to remember that truth is not just a set of propositions but a relationship) with a completely different set of questions and a different "generational learning style" (is that a term, it should be?)

Here's a crude metaphor, which might disintegrate by the time I finish it. I father three boys, ages 5,9,and 14). Let's say all three boys approach me with the same questions about money, sex, or some other big issue. Each boy will get a different answer from me.

Am I a liar, or inconsistent? Did I change my temperament between questions?

No. Truth didn't change. But my children's relationship to whatever truth I have on board changed.

I think that's how it is with culture/generations. Each is like a child asking God the same questions can receiving different answers. Truth never changes. Nuances are always in flux.

Does that help or muddy the waters?

[Glen Woods]

Larry,

Thanks so much for the comment. I think your answer helps quiet some of the muddy waters which I perceive, probably because I struggle so much to understand this stuff. :D I agree with you, although I would probably use the term "worldview shift" rather than generational learning style. However, your term may well grow on me, so long as we maintain an understanding that individuals will continue to have learning style mixes. One of the reasons I am hesitant to adopt "generational learning style" is that we often see folks of the same generations (pick your generation from the popular labels: builder, buster, x'r, millenial, etc) who have different world views. For example, a sampling of millenials, because of how they were raised or by their own intentional choice, could have alternatively a pre-modern, modern, or post-modern worldview. I know 60+ year olds who are quite postmodern philosophically and practically and I know 20 year olds who are as modern as they come. Usually it is some mix, depending on the person and situation.

So yea, in that sense, we culturally adapt our approach to communicating truth. I definitely agree that truth has a relationshal component. That relationship is primarily in terms of our relationship with God. Not that He changes, but we do. For example, I told two very dear friends last night, as we talked about life in an unvarnished way, that I have changed a lot in the last 15 years. God's truth is the same. But my perceptions, my maturity or the lack thereof, my worldview has changed, at least to some degree.

I am not a father, but I have observed what you are talking about with your kids in my own birth family and in the families of my church. So your point is very well received in that regard. Thanks again for your comment. It really does help.